I woke up this morning with a problem looming over my head. It was not a huge quandary, nor a terribly urgent one. However, it was a bit of unpleasantness that I intended to see resolved. Today. As I showered, I mentally prepared myself for the possible confrontation to come. By the time I’d begun applying my makeup, I was geared up and loaded for bear.
I do not want to write this post. In fact, for the past two weeks I have been hiding from God. Like Jonah fleeing from his mission to Nineveh, I have been desperately leaping aboard any ship that may distract me from plumbing the depths of this issue. And, also like Jonah, I have been swallowed up. Not by a whale, mind you, but that behemoth called depression. Like the stomach acids of that famed sea mammal, this depression eats into my mind and gives me no rest. Why this is so difficult for me has been a large part of my despondency and I will address that in a bit.
Numerous studies show that if you smile, regardless of how you feel, your mood will be elevated. You can also cause others to smile, elevating their moods as well. There are physiological reasons for this that I won’t get into here. What I want to focus on is that the act influences the emotions. The same is true of our words. What we speak will greatly influence our feelings.
“Trusting someone to speak kindly when you are not present means trustworthiness in many more countless ways.”
From Listen, by Rene Gutteridge
I have trust issues. I was raised in a loving, intact, mostly-functional home. I’ve not suffered from neglect or abandonment. I have experienced the petty betrayals that come with being human, but nothing too traumatic in hindsight. No, my issues have nothing to do with such scarring events. They have everything to do with you.